Why be consciously self caring?

Your feet ache, your head hurts, your partner criticizes your lack of attention to ‘us’, the boss has sent another deadline for your workgroup to meet, and it’s now time to cook dinner, mow the lawn - and all you want to do is stop, maybe sleep, even do nothing, briefly contemplate running away! Yet, you choose to go on this way--why?

In October, 2002, Jill, single mum, woke up and went to work. She stared at the computer screen, and froze. She felt as if she was in a time and space warp. All she could do, was return home, and call a friend. She fainted. Upon waking, she became mute for a day. Her children had to be cared for by her sister. Headaches left her prostrate. She felt terrified - what was happening to her? No specific medical reason was discovered. Medical opinion stated stress overload as the cause of the temporary condition. With the hindsight of three years, Jill comments ruefully: “It was my soul, saying, Stop right there and care for me!”

Jill’s getting back on track was slow and often arduous. She became conscious - aware - of how she had let her needs be buried while she shouldered responsibility for others, and strove to meet their expectations, believing that this was the right thing to do. She lost sight of herself, and her soul literally pulled the plug on maintaining such a self defeating state. Jill now takes time out every day to nurture her self and her soul, and accomplishes as much as she did, in 2002. “Sometimes, I do even more than I used to. The effort in putting out is much less, because I am more joyful and caring about me. I see my being more concerned about caring for me, as the basis for a healthy sense of being self-centred. If that means I’m selfish, so be it! When I feel good inside, I find I have more compassion and love for people close to me. Is that blend of compassion and love what you call altruism?”

·	Self acceptance - “There are parts of me I don’t like. I feel bad about them and try to ignore them. But ignoring them makes them stick around. So I have begun to acknowledge them and realize the not so nice parts of me belong to me, too.”
·	Self knowledge - “Acknowledging my nice and not so nice parts has meant I actually learn more about myself. They’re part of the same coin, the big picture - me. First I had to reach a degree of acceptance about this, to feel more comfortable about investigating why I sometimes think feel and act as I do.”
·	Self honour - “For the first time in a long time, I like myself. I respect what I have achieved. I respect where I’m going. Sure I make mistakes, but honestly, instead of beating myself up about them, I see them more as lessons to learn, and opportunity to move on. My biggest challenge is to work through feeling guilty! Overall, I feel freer to be myself with others and others feel freer to be themselves with me. That sense of freedom feels good!”
·	Self evolution - “Growing up, moving on…feet in the present, eyes on the positive. When I was first asked what self evolution meant to me, I wanted to reach for all the books I had read that said things so much better than I thought I could express. Yet all the words overwhelmed me, because they weren’t mine, they were born from other people’s experiences. My personal experience is my best statement about what self evolution means to me--growing up, moving on…feet in the present, eyes on the positive.”

Are you willing to shift direction to experience more consciously caring for yourself? Take advantage of a complimentary coaching session, register now and discover how you can identify and initiate new directions for positively caring about you. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Altruism is commonly undertsood as being unselfish, i.e., prioritising and satisfying the needs and wants of other before self. If you think of altruism as a well, consider this: one day, the well may run dry. Too much water is drawn out for too many, with not enough being replenished at source.

Always, the rhythm of life seeks to create balance. Within you, the rhythm of life seeks to create balance among the four components essential to a conscious life - self acceptance, self knowledge, self honour and self evolution. This requires you to be determined and patient about learning how to be attentive and responsive to your needs and wants. By tending the water of the well within, from which you source your thoughts feelings and actions, you genuinely extend love and compassion to your self . Others are drawn to drink because the taste of the water drawn up is cool and sweet and quenches a thirst in their soul.

Jill describes how her understanding of self acceptance, self knowledge self honour and self evolution help her consciously care for her self in daily life: